Reflections on motherhood

Motherhood has humbled me. I remember rolling my eyes when friends said they couldn't meet us for dinner after 7PM because it was bedtime. Couldn't they keep the kid out later? Now I understand. Childless coworkers were complaining recently about moms who block grocery store aisles with the giant racecar shopping carts. Childless me would have complained, too. Now I understand. You can't push the cart next to the food, or your child will grab everything. I no longer judge women scolding their children in Target, because I have no idea when they last slept longer than 5 hours in a row, whether they have eaten in the last 24 hours, or when they last got to go to the bathroom alone. I've become more empathetic and sympathetic and learned some lessons.

As soon as you cross the doctor's office threshold with your sick child, she will begin smiling, waving, and laughing, and the fever will disappear.

If you need your child to take a nap, she will not. If you need your child to wake up from a nap, she will not.

Avoid wearing dark colors when your child has a cold.

People who tell you their babies slept through the night at 8 weeks old are lying...or they slept through the crying, or they drugged their babies.

Roll up your child's sleeves before you let her feed herself blueberry pancakes. Really, just roll up her sleeves before you let her feed herself anything. Or, just take off her shirt.

The farther in advance you make the plans, the sicker your child will be when the event rolls around.

In hindsight, having a plan is funny.

Everything stains. Water stains.

Just throw away the really dirty clothes.

You will never find the missing baby sock, so stop looking.

Don't spend much on toys.

A bath will turn around even the worst day.

What would you add to this list?